


Complex love

by MangaBitch



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Bisexual Female Character, Bottom Prussia (Hetalia), Bottom Russia (Hetalia), Canon Lesbian Relationship, Closeted Character, Eventual Smut, F/F, Genderbending, Historical Hetalia, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Nyotalia, Russia has Issues (Hetalia), Smut, Top Prussia (Hetalia), Top Russia (Hetalia)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:30:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: Prussia "Maria Bielschmidt" and Russia "Anya Braginskaya" shared a dark and bloody past warped by war, kidnapping, death, prostitution, slavery and rape. They both carried their scars and trauma but continued to hide their demons behind masks from the rest of the nations. But they share a bond; one that not many could understand.





	1. Snowy meeting

**Author's Note:**

> the Human names for Russia and Prussia as women are "Maria Bielschmidt (P)" and "Anya Braginskaya (R)"  
> Please be kind as I worked really hard on this and did a lot of research into their characters. Given how little information there is compared to their Hetalia forms I had less to work with.  
> (also to note Belarus is not in love with his sister in this fic; But he is FIERCELY protective of her)

 

 

 

Snow poured down from the sky like white petals touching the ground. The weather grew increasingly colder and the citizens tended to stay inside more often. Winter was truly hated by many just like she was; how ironic yet fitting. They both shared a painful reminder of how people felt about their existence.

Russia stood outside gazing into the starlit sky showered by clouds. She was never bothered by the cold; she had adapted to it over her many years of life. Though at first she had hated it and felt sometimes like she was going to die; she began to see its beauty how lovely the snow looked blanketing the world and flakes falling like petals.

She sighed heavily watching her breath appear in the air. Her heart ached with loneliness and sadness as she stood alone in the snow. In the end she always seemed to end up alone no matter who she reached out to. "It's cold" she whispered quietly gazing up at the sky. She could feel her cheeks growing numb from the cold. It hurt a little but yet she felt like she belonged here for some reason.

"Oi Russia!" an annoyed voice yelled from behind her. The blonde turned to see Prussia standing behind her looking quite pissed off. Had she really trudged through the snow to look for her?

Russia smiled warmly at the nation "Ah it's Prussia; you look well da" she said gently. She was one of the few nations who was not scared of her. She had never seemed to be afraid of her even as kids.

Prussia clicked her teeth crossly clutching her body for warmth. Even with her thick coat she couldn't handle the difference in temperature compared to Germany. How could Russia stand out in it for so long without care?

She gazed up at Russia quietly; her cheeks were pink from the cold and her hair was damp from the snow. She doubted the blonde even noticed the effects of the cold anymore. It was a wonder she never caught Pneumonia or some form of cold from how often she was out in it.

She sighed heavily and approached the blonde woman quietly and took her hand in her own. She could feel the cold even through her gloves; god how had she not noticed.

Russia blinked quietly and stared at Prussia in confusion "Prussia? What is wrong da?" she asked curiously. She understood that Prussia had a lower tolerance for cold but why did she have to come too?

Prussia huffed crossly and led the blonde away quietly. She still remembered where she lived and would make sure to light the fire. Then she could help get the feeling back into Russia's body and fingers. "It's cold out here" she muttered quietly. She would never admit she was worried about Russia; it would make her look uncool. If people knew she was such a softy they would tease her non stop.

Russia followed the silver blonde haired woman as she led her along through the snow. Was Prussia worried about her? Who knew she was capable of being such a softy? She smiled gently to herself in amusement; so Prussia truly was kinder than she let on. She had no idea why she tried to hide it by acting so tough all the time. But then again she could use this as blackmail later.

Prussia peered back and saw the blue eyed girl smiling with her eyes closed. She clicked her teeth crossly "What's that look for?" she muttered defensively. She better not get any funny ideas about it.

"Prussia-san is so kind da" she teased playfully. Deep down Prussia was a sweet person with her own scars; however she would never admit to it. She just never liked to admit she was capable of being hurt. She acted tough and cocky trying to outdo others; however deep down she loved to study and train hard taking it seriously. However she would never let others know how hard she worked.

Prussia stiffened her face turning bright red; what the hell was Russia spouting? Usually she was much scarier than this! Why was she suddenly being all sweet and mushy?

Wasn't she known as the mother country with a history of bloodshed and war? Why was she being so sweet to her? Then again Russia had a lot of misunderstood rumours floating around her. Some that even Prussia thought went too far.

True Russia had done some terrible things during the war and hurt Prussia once so badly she wanted to die. However later she became deeply traumatized with regret at what she had done.

She developed a split personality which consisted of two different sides of Russia. One was a darker childish and more malicious personality that loved to cause suffering and manipulate others. The other was a sweet, gentle and motherly type nature that had fragile emotions and carried a lot of guilt. One that smiled warmly and hid the pain and sadness in her heart locked away from others.

Prussia's expression became more pained and sad; how lonely was Russia? To be all alone like this with nobody to spend time with her? To be so hated by others that they daren't come near her out of fear of what she would do.

She knew that Ukraine had become independent from his sister; but could not see her due to laws. He was mainly known for his personality and adorable personality that made anyone fall for him. He liked to tease his sister but truly loved her dearly. He was sad that they had to be kept apart but she was always in his thoughts.

Belarus was very protective of his sister aware of the pain she carried in her heart. He was very protective of her and didn't let anyone hurt or court her; unless they were worthy of her. Anyone who tried to use Russia as an amusement was dead before they knew it.

He had a tense relationship with Prussia aware that she used to tease Anya in the past. However he learned over time how much Prussia regretted what she did. He was aware that Russia had feelings for Prussia and deeply loved her. However she didn't know how to convey or express those emotions well.

She instead got jealous and acted out like a child and tended to break things. Sometimes she had break downs and cried endlessly for Prussia. She didn't want anyone else to take Prussia from her and often got jealous when she heard that Prussia still liked Hungary.

Hadn't he chosen Austria and abandoned Prussia leaving her with a broken heart? So why did she still yearn for him so much when Prussia had loved her all along even after all these years?

Russia gazed at Maria quietly; her hair was longer than it used to be and her wound on her cheek must sting from the cold. She never knew who inflicted that wound on Russia but she wanted to kill the person that did. "Your hair is longer da" she stated quietly gazing at the wound on Prussia's cheek.

It used to only reach her waist now it reached her knees. Not that she hated how long it was; in fact quite the opposite. Russia loved Prussia's silky ivory locks and how beautiful it was. It reminded her of the snow; pale and beautiful. She loved to stroke it and wind it round her fingers like ribbons further deepening their bond.

Prussia blinked snapping out her daze "Hmm? Ya I grew it out" she explained casually. Now that she was no longer involved in so many wars she had no need to keep it short.

She suddenly became concerned; did Russia hate it? Did she not think her hair looked pretty? The other nations seemed to think her hair was very lovely and suited her. Even her sister seemed to say it suited her longer rather than shorter.

Russia saw her change in mood and chuckled playfully. How easily influenced she was as a person. Slowly she closed the gap between them moving closer to the German woman. Even after all these years she was the only woman next to China who made her heart ache with love.

Prussia felt Russia's arms snake around her slender waist eloping her in a warm hug. Why was it that when she was around her; she felt like she was caring for a small child? So fragile and damaged able to break at any given point.

Russia buried her face into Prussia's back nuzzling her cheek against her warm back and soft hair. How she had missed her familiar smell and company; after all she had done she felt like she would never forgive her. "I missed you da" she said quietly her voice fragile. She thought after all these years Prussia would hate her after what she had done. Yet every now and again she would come back to her again to check on her.

Prussia stiffened; back when she was working as a slave to Russia she had faced many hardships that she dared not speak of. However it was something that had shared together. They were both tainted by their past scars and could never ever make them go away.

They had to give their bodies and souls for money; and often times were forced into unspeakable situations they could never forget. But war was ugly and you had to do what you could to survive. It was one of the darker similarities they shared; that they both knew just how awful and dark war could be. That it was not always winning and defeat triumphing over the enemy; sometimes you had to bargain and make deals with the enemy.

Prussia slowly placed a hand onto one of Russia's gently her body standing still. She could never forgive Russia for what she had done to her; but she also knew how much she had suffered and that she was truly sorry. She could never leave her truly because she knew if she did; Russia would snap and breakdown. She would be plagued by the nightmares of her past causing her to become a different woman.

Weak, afraid and traumatized; making the memories come back and leaving her a mess; even the great Russia had some things that they could not understand. "I'm back Russia" she said softly gazing up at the sky. She would try her best not to be gone for so long next time.


	2. Bond of passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russia offers to warm up Prussia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intense moment between Russia and Prussia Nyotalia; please review as I feel this pairing needs more love
> 
> Its a complex relationship between two nations; which is something that isn't often looked at in fanfictions

Prussia sighed heavily as she hung up her wet coat quietly. It was freezing cold and wearing a mini skirt in this weather was not the best plan; she wasn't after all used to such cold conditions. She was used to a warmer climate; while yes Germany was cold due to being in Europe it was a hell of a lot warmer than Russia was.

However, to represent herself as a nation she had to look her best. Even though her country had fallen; she was still part of Germany which allowed her to continue existing. Without her new title she would fade into existence. The idea of not being anything but history and a memory scared her; she liked being noticed and cared about.

Russia laughed in amusement "Why did Prussia wear such clothes da? Are you not cold?" she teased cheekily. Surely she would have known better and worn thicker clothes than that. She knew that her country was anything but warm; the winters here were quite harsh and nothing to laugh at. Some poor citizens had died in these colds after alcohol intoxication.

She had heard from her sister Germany that sometimes Prussia liked to wear dresses for fancy events or when it got cold. However, she had never seen such a thing and was eager to one day see Prussia in such attire. After all she acted like such a tomboy half the time it would be a nice change to see her embracing her more feminine side.

Prussia blushed "They're still packed; I left them here when I went to look for you" she retorted stubbornly. She had left her suitcase in Russia's house and went to look for her in the snow. She would have a lot to do later but for now she had to worry about raising her body temperature back to normal before she got sick from the cold.

She had packed a few thick coats, jeans and jumpers, one dress plus other such clothes for being up here. She planned on staying for some time so thick clothes were a must up here; but looking good wasn't out of the question. After all she did like to show off how awesome she was while staying in a foreign country.

Russia smiled gently; she had neglected herself and come to look for her instead? She should really think more about her health in such a situation. The cold here was much more intense than Germany. She knew that she didn't think much of herself sometimes due to being fallen; but to Russia she was still very precious.

She approached Prussia quietly and wrapped her arms around Prussia gently her arms tight yet gentle. For Prussia to become sick or injured because of her made Russia feel sick or sad; she would hate such a thing. To not be able to protect something so important to her was a thought she daren't think about; it scared her too much.

For all she was used to being alone and being feared; the one thing she couldn't stand was for Prussia to hate her. Even after all she had done she knew that Prussia still cared for her and that was enough for Russia. Just knowing that she could be seen as anything but a monster in one person's eyes brought her happiness inside.

"Then let me warm you da; as thanks for coming" Russia whispered affectionately holding the German nation close to her. She was one of the few who didn't think of her as just a monster. She saw her as a human being who had their flaws and their demons; she tried to ease the wounds in her heart but also made sure to show her respect.

While she barely ever cried in front of anyone showing only her cold and brave front; Russia had cried in front of Prussia many times during points of weakness. She was the only nation to have seen just how unstable emotionally she could be. She had wiped away her tears many times and held her until the storm inside her settled down.

Prussia sighed heavily but didn't reject her "With how forward you are; no wonder other nations get scared" she retorted bluntly. If her brothers saw her like this; they would be completely thrown. You'd have never guessed someone so why and motherly would be capable of being such a seductive individual whatsoever.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"Aaahh….this feels good" Prussia sighed pleasantly. She could feel herself warming up and sensations coming back to every inch of her. This was a really good idea; though why she didn't think of it herself was a mystery. She had half expected to be drinking whiskey or eating some form of hot food in order to heat her inner core.

"So even Prussia can relax da?" Russia chuckled in amusement. So, she wasn't just all about work and looking good; so why did she try and hide it? She was cute when she was like this. Unlike her bossy and more stubborn side she showed at work or at meetings; she was more relaxed and laid back like this.

However, she knew without a doubt she would never let anyone but her sister or Russia let her see her like this. She hated showing how tired, exhausted, stressed or weak she was capable of being. She felt weak and ashamed that she had fallen from being so great into a useless nation that was no longer respected at all.

Prussia pouted "Of course! Even the great Prussia needs to take it easy sometimes!" she retorted defensively. Did she think she spent all her time working? She was still human after all. If she pushed this form more than necessary it would have some very problematic or serious consequences; ones that would make her sick.

Russia smiled and ran her fingers through Prussia's hair affectionately "So beautiful; even when wet" she whispered gently running her fingers through it. She had always loved Prussia's hair; even as a child. The fact that other nations failed to see how pretty she was even with her scars angered Russia greatly.

Unlike her sister's yellow blonde hair which she had cut off; Prussia had long ivory blonde hair which was looked like pure silk. It was like waves of silver that ran down her back like a river. She had always felt that Prussia's hair was always more beautiful than Germany; but other people didn't tend to think so.

Currently Russia and Prussia were in her bathtub and pressed against each other. It had been so cold out that they agreed it was the fastest way to warm up while relaxing. Plus right now all they wanted was to feel each other; no sex just to be close to each other. To cuddle and revel in each others warmth's that they had missed so dearly.

It was a giant porcelain white tub with brass lion feet and taps; a beautiful piece of work and not what you would expect from Russia. Despite being an old country; her house was a combination of modern and traditional. She actually liked to develop herself and move on from the past unlike what other nations believed her to be.

Prussia was laid on her back her head rested against the back of the tub; facing away from the taps. Her body was sprawled under the water and her hair covered her chest slightly; but her body could be seen under the water. She had small scars on her body from her warring years; the most prominent was the one of her cheek that would never heal.

Russia was pressed against her resting on her bosom like a small child on a pillow. Her long ivory locks flowing across her back and through the water like snakes. Angelic looking but capable of becoming a demon in a flash. It was the reason people feared her so much; because she was unpredictable.

Prussia looked at her quietly her face thoughtful "What about you? No wonder people call you the deadly beauty" she teased gently. For all that Russia was feared by other nations; she was also known for her beauty. Many other countries wanted a taste but could never have any; because they were too afraid.

Russia smiled gently wrapping her arms tighter around Prussia "They all scared of me Da; but not you Prussia. You not like them" she explained softly. It was the reason she was always alone; they were afraid to be around her.

Lithuania, Poland, Estonia and other countries were terrified of her as a country. They all knew what she was capable of what she could do to them if they disobeyed. Because of this they avoided being near her. The only reason they were nice to her is because they were scared of her as a country. She all knew deep down they hated her and wanted nothing to do with her. They were bound to her but wished to be free.

But Prussia; she knew just how cruel she could be first hand and yet she chose to stay beside her. She knew that despite her cruelty she was also a very broken person. She was hiding her pain with a smile upon her face. She didn't want people to know just how much she was suffering on the inside; because they would look at her differently.

She took the good and the bad that came with Russia and loved her regardless. She made the darkness in her soul go away so she could feel like she wasn't alone anymore; like somebody still cared that she existed. The fact someone needed her around brought so much happiness to her soul; that not everyone hated her.

Prussia's expression became pained; she knew all the awful things Russia had done over the years and the scars would never heal. But she wasn't perfect either so they were both wicked in that sense. They were so misunderstood or complicated that nobody could truly understand their real nature; but that was life.

She raised a hand and placed it on Russia's head; she stroked the girls head gently as a form of comfort. While she knew that Russia could be cruel; she was just complicated and carried her own wounds and bombs. She was so used to a dark and bloody lifestyle that it was hard to change what she knew and what she was used to.

"You're just damaged; as are we all" Prussia said firmly her magenta eyes solemn. Every country was guilty of doing something evil or wicked; some were just more serious actions than others. But they all carried their sins and redeemed themselves in some way; although not every soul could be saved from what they had done.

Russia's expression softened and she nuzzled into the bosom of her lover. She was the only one capable of easing the pain in her heart; the only one who saw her dark side and loved it. She saw the crying child in the dark snow and embraced it; she saw her weakness and desire not be alone. She stayed beside even with how warped she was; because she knew that nobody was perfect.

Russia smiled fondly her eyes loving and tender "I love you Prussia da" she said softly. Though nobody would ever think it; she was capable of such emotions. She wasn't completely heartless after all. She could in fact be very childish sometimes or very emotional; she just never showed it to others.

Prussia sighed gently "I love you….Anya" she said gently. She never used Russia's human name unless she was being serious or when she was very, very angry. Now was one of those moments she showed her feelings for her.

Russia looked up at Prussia her violet eyes sad yet longing. She never wanted this moment to end; she never wanted her to leave her side. Because once she was gone; she would go back to the cold darkness by herself again. It would be so quiet, so cold and so very, very lonely.

"Maria…." she said bluntly her tone yearning. She knew what she wanted but the other nation would just tease her about it. She would never do what she said until she told her what she wanted. She was quite mean like that; but Russia liked how mean Prussia could be sometimes because she knew it was how she showed she loved her.

Prussia looked down at Russia; her eyelids heavy yet still able to see the Russian girl before her. Only in moments like this did she show her more serious side that she kept hidden under her humorist attitude. To hide the thoughts she held inside that pained her heart or brought her great sadness; even if the time was short.

"Anya…" she replied her tone understanding. She gazed at the soft pale lips that gleamed in the bathroom light amongst the steam of the bath; Russia was truly a stunning form of a woman. She was powerful, deadly, dangerous and yet so fragile at the same time.

Russia reached up her hand to cup Prussia's cheek blonde hair tumbling over her arm slightly. She wanted to touch her; she wanted to feel her love that she had missed for so long. "…. Kiss me" she said adamantly. She wanted to feel her lips against her own; to feel her heat once more after being apart for so long. To feel like she belonged to someone and that person still needed her.

Prussia smiled and leaned her head forward so their forehead was meeting "As you wish" she replied playfully. She could never deny her such things when she looked at her like that. The desire and loneliness that filled her eyes was too much to bear; she couldn't leave her like that.

Russia moved forward and feathered her lips in front of Prussia but did not kiss her. She had asked for Prussia to kiss her not the other way around; she wasn't going to trick her. For once Prussia could take control of her; since she was the only country Russia would ever allow to control her.

Prussia chuckled; she really meant what she said. Giving in she moved closer silvery blonde hair spilling over her chest. She then kissed Russia passionately closing her eyes as they locked lips. She still tasted as sweet and yet so cold; a strange mix and yet so fitting for her.

Russia closed her eyes contently and held Prussia's face as they kissed. Even though they had warmed up in the bath her lips still had traces of the cold lingering on them. The snow could still be felt on her lips; but she would chase it away as best she could.

"Prussia….never leave me da; I need you here beside me…always" she thought mentally as she conveyed her feelings for the other woman through her kiss. She didn't want to be forgotten; especially not by Prussia. Not ever.


	3. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russia attacks Prussia as a child and is found to have Bipolar disorder
> 
> However instead of telling a distraught Russia she caused the scar on her face; Prussia lies to Russia to protect her feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russia and Prussia are 13-14 in this fic; feels and angst will hit you like a bus

_Prussia gripped her face in pain as she knelt down on her knee's sobbing. Her face hurt like hell and there was blood pooling down her face._ _Her right eye widened in fear and tears spilling over like a waterfall. Her body was shaking like a leaf and she couldn't find her voice._

" _It hurts…. It hurts like hell" she mentally sobbed gripping her face. She had no idea what had happened; everything had just turned so quickly._ _One minute she and Russia had been carving figures for each other; the next she was sliced in the face with a chisel to which she was now bleeding._

_Moments earlier the Russian girl had been kind, sweet and quiet; the next minute she suddenly violently attacked her and started threatening her. Her mood had flipped like a switch and come out of nowhere completely unprovoked._

_She had only asked Russia how hers had been coming along what it looked like; I mean she had thrown in some jokes about it not being as "Awesome as hers" but she always did stuff like that._ _At first, she tried to calm down Russia with words but nothing seemed to reach her. Out of fear for her life she had thrown her stool at Anya and then run away as fast as she could._

" _What happened? Russia isn't usually like this; she's usually such a cry baby" Prussia squeaked fearfully._ _The look in Russia's purple eyes had been nothing short of pure insanity, evil and glee. She had enjoyed seeing her bleed, seeing her scared, seeing her cry._

_What had happened to the shy, docile, gentle hearted and somewhat distant girl she knew? The one she teased as a kid and loved to call names because of what a pushover she was._

_She curled up in a ball gripping her knees with her free hand and closing her eyes. The tears fell harder soaking her dark blue dress and spilling onto the floor._ " _Wake up! Wake up damn it!" Prussia sobbed bitterly. She was the great Prussia for crying out loud! Why was she so scared?_

_This had to be a dream; this wasn't real. She would snap out of this and things would be back to normal any second. She would wake up and her face wouldn't be hurting and Russia would be standing there smiling as always._

" _Miss Prussia? Why are you crying?" a curious voice asked. It was one of her servants that had come to check up on her. She had come to ask if the two girls wanted snacks at all as they must be hungry._

" _Hurts…" Prussia sobbed looking up blood trickling down her face onto the floor. She didn't understand what was going on. Why was Russia acting this way? What had she done wrong?_

_The servant reeled back at the sight of the blood; just how in the hell had Prussia gotten so badly hurt without their knowledge? Who had done this to her?_ _She picked up the smaller nation and gripped her tightly to her chest. She then hurried down the hallways as fast as she could towards the medical bay._

_Prussia continued to sob and now bleed all over her servant's apron to which the latter paid no mind. She had to care for the injured girl immediately. She had heard stories about Russia's country but this was beyond her imagination._

" _Maria-san? Vhat happened?" a familiar Russian voice asked. She didn't understand why Maria had run away like that. She thought they were having fun and making wooden carvings of animals together._ _She recalled blacking out for a minute; her head hurting and everything going blank inside her mind. When she came to she saw her chisel covered in blood and Prussia was gone with the door open._

_Prussia stiffened in the maid's arms and gripped he tighter. Fresh tears pooled over and she cried harder; just hearing her voice made her fear rise. Seeing that blank look in her eyes and that cold stare of hatred._

_The maid repulsed at the sight of Russia; sickness and fear rising within her as she gripped the Prussian nation. Her eyes widening and a desire to puke boiling in her stomach._

_The small ivory blonde haired girl stood there; her hands still gripping a bloodied chisel and her arm and face spattered with slight blood._ _Her eyes seemed innocent and confused but it was obvious as to what had happened. Russia had attacked Prussia while they were playing away from watchful eyes._

_Russia became worried seeing how Prussia looked scared and was crying. What had happened? Had something happened to her country?_ " _Maria-san…" she started worriedly using the nations human name and took a step forward towards the two females quietly._

" _STAY BACK!" the maid screamed angrily her voice desperate. This girl wasn't normal; there was something really wrong with her. She was standing there looking innocent despite holding a bloodied chisel in her hand and blood being splattered upon her arm and face._

_Russia stiffened her eyes widening with shock; the maids never acted like this usually when she visited. What had happened to make them hate her? Why was she suddenly so angry at her?_

_The maid glared at her fear evident on her face "Don't come near you understand?! You've done enough damage!" she snapped bitterly._ _She then stormed off leaving a confused and upset Russia standing in the hall as she stormed off. Desperate to heal and aid the sobbing nation in her arms._

_Russia stood there quietly confusion and sadness filling her "Vhat happened? I don't remember anything?" she said anxiously._ _She turned around quickly to look at Prussia who was being carried close to the maid her head over her shoulder. That was when Prussia felt sick herself and began to shake._

_Prussia's face was bleeding; there was blood pooling down her face and splashing onto the floor in drips. Tears were spilling down her face and she looked terrified._ _Her single reddish violet eye was overflowing with tears and staring Russia down like terrified prey with a gun to its head. She had never seen her look so afraid._

_Russia felt herself running; faster and faster after Prussia her legs shaking and adrenaline kicking in. She knew something was wrong but what?_ " _Maria?! What happened to you?! Your hurt?! I don't understand?! Russia cried quietly but her voice grew louder and louder._

 _Eventually she tripped and fell over; she then looked up to see Prussia being taken away somewhere still crying. She then curled up and gripped the chisel tightly her head hurting._ " _I don't remember; What did I do? What happened?! My head….it hurts" Russia sobbed quietly gripping her hands into fists. She couldn't remember what she had done; her head was all black and empty inside._

_ **After** _

_Prussia sat in bed her face wiped up and clean but a nice moon shaped scar over her left eye. Luckily her eye wasn't damaged but the scar would be permanent for the rest of her existence._

_In the beginnings of her being a country; she had already received a battle wound but not from someone she expected. She never knew such a feeling existed._ _She sat in her bed quietly gripping her sheets and she collected her thoughts. From Russia's sights, earlier it was obvious she hadn't meant to or remembered hurting her._

_The doctor sat beside Prussia on the bed a warm smile on his face. He was a man in his mid-thirties with blonde hair and green eyes._ " _Miss Prussia; are you feeling better?" he asked kindly. She had been through quite a shock after all._

_Prussia hesitated then nodded quietly; she had calmed down but was still confused as to why Russia had attacked her like that. She was confused and shaken; the Russia she knew would always smile even if someone treated her badly._

" _You are probably wondering what caused Russia to attack you yes?" the doctor said gently. This would be hard to explain to someone so young after all. Especially when the said person was her childhood friend._

_Prussia blinked and then nodded quietly. Everything had seemed normal up until Russia came at her like that and attacked her. Judging from the tone of the doctor something had to be really wrong._

_The doctor sighed heavily and a conflicted look came upon his face "Have you heard of a split personality Miss Prussia?" he asked reluctantly. Of all the patients he had ever come across Russia had the worst case he had ever seen; blacking out her memory completely after waking up._

_Prussia blinked and then nodded; however, she was vague on the details. She had only ever heard about such things in stories or said as a joke. Saying that when people acted like themselves it was like a split personality._

" _Miss Russia has what is called Bipolar disorder; one can be completely calm and normal one minute, and then violent and completely opposite to usual the next" he explained._ _For whatever reason; Russia had developed such a thing and unfortunately, she had attacked her best friend by accident. However, it was unfortunate that she had awoken at the tender age of 13._

_Puberty was a confusing time for anyone; being a country was not exactly easy either. All these pressures and puberty itself was a strain on Russia and caused her to snap._ _Thus, she had developed 2 completely different personalities. One was a motherly, kind and gentle nation. The other was a sadistic, emotionally unstable nation and a natural killer._

_Prussia blinked and looked visibly worried; Russia had split personalities? So, when she attacked her she was unaware of it?_ " _Will Anya be ok?" Prussia asked worriedly. She wondered if her bullying years when they were kids had added to this; god she felt awful._

_Maybe her attack had been a build-up of emotional pressure from all the mean things she said to her as kids. Payback for being so mean to her and making her cry. Though it had only been simple name calling it had obviously done Russia a lot of harm._

_The doctor blinked and smiled "She will; however, she will need to be kept a watch over. From now on she will have a live-in doctor and sedatives in case of attacks" he explained._

_Prussia felt a sharp pain in her chest upon hearing those words. Russia would have no idea of what was going on and would only feel like people hated her._ _Knowing she had to be cared for by a doctor would make her worry she was sick. However, she would never understand she was mentally ill and not physically ill whatsoever._

_She bowed her head quietly; her chest length silver hair spilling over her shoulders. This wasn't Russia's fault; she couldn't help what she did and she would never do such a thing on purpose._ _She felt tears well up again upon seeing Russia's crying face in her mind. She really hadn't remembered what she did and was probably off crying somewhere out of fear of what was wrong._

_ **Later** _

_Prussia wondered down the hall a big red scar over her left eye. It was still very red and stung a little but it was more tolerable._ _A few servants whispered and stared at her; everyone apart from Russia knew what had happened making it all the worse._

_Eventually she found Russia curled up in a ball sat on the stone steps leading to the courtyard. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked worried out of her mind. She was obviously wracking her mind of every possible situation._

_Prussia hesitated sadness filling her; Russia had no idea of what she had done. She had most likely been told about the doctor that would be living with her from now on too._ _She took a deep breath and approached the Russian nation quietly "Anya" she said bluntly. She would keep acting normal; she would hide what had happened to protect her._

_If Russia knew what she had done she would lose herself to self-hatred; blame herself and never forgive her actions. She couldn't bear to see Russia destroy herself because she was mentally ill._

_Russia looked up and gasped; her violet eyes filled with despair and worry. She jumped to her feet and rushed to Prussia's side anxiously._ " _Da Prussia! What happened you your eye?" She cried desperately. She reached out a gentle hand and touched Prussia's scar stroking it._

_She had been cleaned up and changed into a new outfit that was not covered in blood. Most likely she had been screaming for Prussia while being changed and calmed. Though she didn't look it the Russian girl had very wild and passionate emotions._

_Prussia stiffened and her eyes threatened to release tears again; Prussia sounded so weak and helpless. She had no idea of the monster inside of her._ _She then reached out one hand and gripped Russia's hand in her own; the one that was caressing the very scar she had left on her moments before._

" _It's nothing; a scary person just came after me" Prussia lied. She would never admit to Russia that the person who had terrified her had been herself. That she had a personality that scared the living hell out of her._

_Russia frowned; someone had hurt Prussia?! She would never forgive them; she would make sure they paid for what they done._ _She then wrapped her arms around Prussia's neck and hugged her tight "I'll protect you Prussia; I won't let them hurt you again" she said sharply._

_Prussia stiffened and smiled sadly; she couldn't tell Russia that she had to protect her from herself. She couldn't do that to her._ " _Thank you" she said weakly. She would keep it a secret for as long as it took; if it meant she could protect Russia's fragile heart._


	4. Back off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America lets rip into Russia, about how she treats other nations. But Prussia puts her in her place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated

America folded her arms crossly, she had heard a lot of troubling things lately that she could not ignore. Though she knew a lot of people were scared of Russia, she had never really thought she was so tough. She had never felt threatened by her and knew how to stand up for herself, knowing just how to get under Russia's skin and stand up to her. Though they were allies via her mutual boss, she had always been confused by and curious about the Russian female. She had an aura of elegance and yet mystery but was capable of being a very cruel individual but showed no remorse for her actions. Wondering how such a person could exist, wishing she could understand how Russia worked internally.

But she never showed fear and made sure to show Russia exactly how she felt, while being honest to herself. But her example didn't rub the latter too well and Russia often turned to her darker side. Often going to other nations when she was in a less than pleasant mood, but her siblings tended to be used to this and knew how to make her feel better. However, some of her mutual allies were rather scared of Russia which she could not ignore. England tended to become nervous around her, hell even some of the toughest nations were scared of her. Despite how strong half of them were, they cowered around Russia due to her influence and what her nation was capable of. Not wanting to get on her bad side.

She could not ignore the fact that other nations felt threatened. As the heroine it was her job to stand up for and protect the weak against bullies. And Russia's intimidating nature often allowed her to get away with anything. The fact that Russia seemed to enjoy it half the time made it worse, like a child who ripped the wings off bugs for fun. Which made it even worse in her eyes.

Her blue eyes filled with courage and she stood her ground, showing whom was boss."Russia, I don't know what sick games you're into. But picking on weaker nations is really uncool" America replied abruptly her tone impatient. Joking about and calling names for fun was fine but taking advantage of others was wrong. Her boss had told her to make friends, not make a list of victims. Was she learning nothing?

Russia blinked, she had no idea of what America was attempting to accuse her of, but she would not allow her to spread rumours about her. "I have no clue of what actions you assume I have done" she replied calmly a smile on her face. She had simply been doing what her boss asked of her which was to make friends and strengthen the bonds she already had. Though because she was not the most social of people, it was not easy for her to do.

America frowned, was she really trying to play dumb? "Your scaring people, you bully other nations into being friends with you and use your power to force them to become your ally" she berated impatiently. She had relations with Russia and knew she had her moments, but other times she could be childishly cruel. "Unions aren't about controlling the freedom of others, but about trusting one another. Your just mean to everyone and bullying them, scaring them into liking you. Its not cool".

She had worked hard to gain the allies she had after becoming independent as well as repairing old bonds which hadn't been easy. But she did her best to try and be a good influence and a loyal friend. But she was nowhere as near as mean as Russia could be, if she was the heroine then Russia was the villain whom she had to stop from her evil ways.

Russia's smile dropped into a dark frown, her head bowing and her violet eyes filling with a silent rage. A look of anger and hurt appearing on her face, a swirling storm of emotions filling her heart. America would never be able to understand her feelings, what it was like to be her. She had never been alone growing up, she always had someone who loved her or fawned over her endlessly.

No matter how far away she strayed, there was always someone nearby keeping her safe. She had two parents in the form of France and England growing up, spoiled by love and affection endlessly. While she had been alone with nothing but snow and the cold around her. Scared of what could be lurking and the world around her, still learning about her nation and duties. Over time people had simply come to fear her and avoid her like the plague.

On top of that she had been bullied just like America was now, by Prussia back when they were small nations. Due to this she had been forced to become strong on her own, with her brother's protection. However, over time they became separated due to becoming independent and their bosses not allowing them to see each other. Forcing her to become strong on her own, relying on only herself.

She felt herself shaking with anger and sadness, trying to hold back the outburst she could feel brewing. She didn't want to make a scene because she knew America would win. People would be scared of her and then America would be praised for standing up to her. When in fact she had done nothing wrong and was responding to being bullied.

Suddenly, Prussia stood up in her chair. A cold expression on her face, a few people looking concerned. Prussia was known for joking about, being mischievous and causing trouble, so it took a lot for her to get seriously mad. But when she did, you had better be scared. "Jou may be strong America, but that does not give jou the right to be a bitch to everyone" she replied coldly. She had helped train her back in the day, which was why she was such a good fighter. But she didn't teach her these things to take advantage of others.

She always pushed people around, despite any good intentions she may have had. She tended to be naïve and clueless to the affects her actions had on others. Making them do what she wanted regardless of their opinions. She never waited to hear what others had to say or wanted to do, always following her own plans. She used violence as the answer and to get the job done, but that was not how she was raised to be.

A few other nations nodded and whispered in agreement to Prussia's opinion. Though she was well liked and an ally to others, her actions often hurt others without her ever knowing or taking it into consideration. A lot of time it felt like America's strength and power got the better of her and she never realized that she should step back and look at the damage she caused.

Russia stiffened, her eyes snapping wide open and going into shock. But unmoving, not able to show a reaction due to the overwhelming feelings she was experiencing. Nobody had ever stood up for her before when people were mean. Let alone that the person who was defending her was Prussia of all people. Someone she believed hated her more than anything.

America pouted and sulked, she was just putting Russia in her place. If she didn't speak out about Russia's actions she would get away with it and continue bullying and harassing other nations. However, she knew that if she didn't apologize England would be mad and other nations would give her a hard time about it. She sighed heavily but averted her gaze from the Russian female. "I'm sorry for y'know being a jerk. But just stop being so scary is all" she muttered.

She then sat down in her chair quietly, folding her arms and ignoring other nations. However, Prussia sat down quietly and waited for her sister to pick the meeting back up and lead. Russia peered up slowly through her bangs, to others she would look like a blonde version of the grudge. But she was blushing lightly, her eyes shining with silent happiness. The fact that Prussia of all people defended her.

* * *

The room emptied as the nations retired to their rooms at the hotel to relax after a long meeting. Some going off in groups and others going away on their own, eager to catch up and bond with their friends or lovers. Some had planned to go to lunch together or simply go back to their hotel rooms for a different kind of fun. Glad to finally be able to let loose of their serious nature.

Prussia was getting ready to go for a beer, it had been way too long since she had seen Marie and Carmen. They were her childhood friends and she did not often get the opportunity to bond with them. Due to their bosses giving them piles of work and having to babysit their own allies, given how rebellious Lovina could be and how stressed Maddie could get due to other louder nations.

Russia silently approached Prussia, a warm smile on her face. Though she was called scary by other nations, it made her happy to know that there was at least one person who knew her best aside from her brothers. She could always rely on Prussia to be there for her, though she tried to hide it she was softer than she let on. A heart of gold hidden inside of her.

"Spasibo Prussia" she replied gratefully. Usually people would ignore what America said until she became threatening. She tried to brush it off by being friendly, but most times her emotions got the better of her. She knew it was childish to let her jealousy and anger get the better of her, thus causing her to vent it out on other nations. But she never knew she was hurting them, she had always just wanted to play. But when she got frustrated or stressed, it got harder to stay calm.

Prussia frowned slightly, honestly, she doubted she would ever be able to see Russia as anything but a kid. The same one with repressed anger and slight psychotic moments, but what nation wasn't flawed? However, out of all the nations Russia was the one that people tended to pick on the most. Treating her like some kind of monster that needed to be locked away.

She then reached out her hand slightly and flicked Russia in the forehead. The latter surprised by her gesture, staring at her with utter confusion. Wondering what she had just done. "I'm zhe only one who can tease you, remember that" she replied firmly. Sure, she was mischievous and playful, but she would never do anything to truly hurt Russia. For she wasn't that cruel.

Russia blinked, then her smile grew bigger. Never knowing that she would find such comfort in such a simple statement. The impact of those words warming her heart, scaring away her sadness. "Da" she replied fondly. She would never get angry at Prussia, because she knew she loved her. That alone gave her the strength she needed to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I lowkey ship RusAme


End file.
